Isn't it crap when there's no decent cricket on, everything goes quiet, there are no raging debates, or big questions to answer.

Oh, I miss you all. It's so lonely on here, there's only Ern to talk to, and quite frankly I think he's a bit funny because he comes from the North. Occasionally there's Jenko, but I'm on a diet now, and he just keeps talking about cake. Sigh!

I even went to the BBC board for a look - but that's just bonkers! There's a war going on between Indian and English posters, and every 3rd thread is entitled "Hey lads, let's just all calm down a bit and get on with each other!" It's nuts! (Now before all of you BBC posters come on here all indignant, I'm not saying the forum is crap or anything, just that the content I've read today just doesn't suit me!)

Then I had an idea - taking total posts as a reference, I'm going to pick the World-A-Team International Superstar XI -


1) Ern* Worlds highest runscorer, doughty Lancastrian who will not be outscored. Captain of the side.
2) Mark Kidger Clinical Opener, scores his runs with scientific efficiency, knocking on a bit now!
3) Rachael Dour Boycottian bat, who eschews all flair and frills in return for her runs. Dislikes allrounders
4) RBLC Originally from Woolygobba Creek, naturalised leg-spinning allrounder with a liking for beige blazers
5) RWS Plays his cricket in Holland, dashing batsmen who bowls occasional left arm Edam
6) Kirsty Harris Baby of the team, young Kentish batslady with a rosy apple-cheeked complexion (from the cider)
7) Richard Jenkins Beefy all-rounder capable of very bouncy balls and fiddling maidens!
8) Oliver Trundling inswing bowler picked from club cricket obscurity to share the new ball. A classic sledger
9) Whips Off the Bails+ Gnarled old 'keeper, known for his hand-speed and for smoking a pipe of "Old Shag" at the wicket
10) Goatman Firey and nasty pace bowler who describes batsmen as 'disgusting micro-organisms'
11) Flanflinger Veteran lob bowler who switched from bad leggies to bad offies. Famous for the 'moonball'

12) Notts Exile Knocking on the door of the team as a wristy middle order bat and for his ability to mine coal.

Coach) TTFC Cricketing genius and legend in his own lunchbox. Qualified nurse, forklift truck driver and it's my bat & ball!