I'll give you brief, and no doubt highly inaccurate, and probably bias analysis of two of the opposition candidates.

Michael Howard - Conservative. FOrmer Home Office Minister in John Majors government, (yes those who dallied on europe in 1992), he's welsh, blinkered, has a seige mentality verging on xenaphobic, and was part of the cabinet who put 34,000 miners out of work in a single day, turning vast stretches of wales and yorkshire into an industrial wasteland. Personally I wouldnt trust him as far as I can throw him. Not so much jumping but rebranding the anti europe, anti immigration band wagon started by the daily mail and robert kilroy silk. odd considering his parent were jewish immigrants/refugees (i think!)

Charles Kennedy - Liberal Democrats. The Right Honerable MP for Have I got News For You will be hoping to trade his seat on a political quiz show for the hot seat of number. Cannily stuck to the anti war (iraq) from the start unlike Howard who backed it to the hilt until he sussed he'll get a few votes by caling blair a liar (which several "enquires" have clared him of. Sort of.) Scottish, ginger haired, yet with no violent tendancies, they toyed briefly in the last election of promising to legalise cannabis which should have won votes but all the pot heads were too busy watching Richard and Judy while gnawing away at digestive buscuits. He should stand a chance on policies and lack of sleaze but wont because not enough people want to "waste" a vote on a third placed party.

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Nothing says "Obey Me" like a bloody head on a fence post!