From The Spin, 16 September 2003

The Americans'understanding of cricket has always hovered between the deeply flawed and the utterly non-existent, and a recent article in a Houston newspaper helped explain why. Now we aren't about to get all sniffy about the Yanks' inability to grasp the fundamentals of the lbw law - it's hardly their fault they were born there - but in a part of the country which, according to the piece, contains over 50,000 ex-pats from cricketing lands, you would have thought someone would have lent the reporter a hand.

"Cricket is somewhat similar to baseball," explains the journalist Carlos Aguilar. "You have a bat, but it looks like a thick paddle - flat on one side and rounded on the other. There's a pitcher, but he runs at the batter, or batsman, bouncing the ball only once in front of the hitter, who strikes at the ball. If he hits it in play, he runs straight ahead to the opposite batting box, where a teammate then runs back and scores. They can run back and forth several times, scoring more than once before the ball is thrown back. The fielders are spread out, waiting to toss the ball back to hit the wicket to knock down the wooden pegs, or stamps, which produces an out." "In fact," writes Aguilar solemnly, "cricket came before baseball." "Although there isn't much contact and the play is not as fast as other popular sports, there are some injuries and disputes over rules," he explains, in what can only be a cunning allusion to Bodyline and Dennis Lillee's aluminium bat. "In cricket, the runs scored can be from 50-300 before a winner is determined, so the hits during batting are numerous."

If the land of the free was confused before, heaven help it now. Houston, we have a serious problem.

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A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes
Mark Twain