The esteemed Mr Robert Key of Kent, when he sees a pie, becomes the most formidable creature to have walked the earth since Tyrannosaurus Rex. Any foe who stands between Mr Key and his pie will be crushed beneath Mr Key's boy of toned, hulking muscle. Mr Key can consume a larger quantity of pie than any other living creature. But Mr Key is not just brawn. He also has style and delicacy. Even when eating huge quantities of pie, Mr Key does so in a manner most becoming a gentleman from the Garden of England. He never spills a crumb, and dabs himself meticulously with a kerchief afterwards. Mr Key also has an exquisite palate, and is the foremost expert in pie-tasting in the British isles. He is very sensitive to the taste and texture of the crust, to the quality of meat used in a pie, and to the level of salt the pie contains. Mr Key's favourite pies are: meat and potato; ham and mushroom; and steal and ale.

If you have any queries relating to pies, you can contact Mr Key through his website:
mrrobertkey.co.uk/iamapieman/tasty

__________________
Just what is going off out there?