Some Christmas Cheer

[Beny]

According to the ABS:

*31 Australians have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

*19 Australians have died in the last 3 years by eating Christmas decorations they believed were chocolate.

*Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling incidents.

*11 Australians since 1997 have had to have broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

*18 Australians had serious burns in 1998 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

*A massive 543 Australians were admitted to casualty in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth or eye socket.

*5 Australians were injured last year in accidents involving out of control scalextric cars.

*3 Australians die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their tongue.

*14 Australians were injured in 1998 by not removing all the pins from new shirts.

*58 Australians are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

[Occasional Fan]

Well, it could happen to anyone, couldn't it? Er ... no!

543 people opening beer bottles with their eye sockets?? C'mon, Beny! You made it up, right?

[Beny]

I wish.


To be honest I got this from a mate... He is preety reliable though and many of these I can belive.

[flanflinger]

in 2005 11 Australians got stuffed by the Rampant England team...

Sorry could't resist.

[Beny]

LOL... Technicly wouldent it be 12?

[Zainub]

I guess you guys will enjoy this. Robbo and Davo do the best and most halirious Aus-Eng rant makers I've come across.

First read this

And then read this

[Occasional Fan]

And Davo's last line reminds me that the Australian Immigration Service requires all non-Aussie visitors to complete a landing card before arrival, one question on which is "Do you have a criminal record?". It is best not to write "I didn't know it was still needed".