Ritchie Benaud dont retire

[acker]

Just read the results of the cric info poll on Australian cricket commentators
Obviously what we (Australia) want from our channel 9 commentary team next year is

The CEO

Sir Ritchie Benaud in a nice bone or pink suit anchoring the commentary team until the next century

The Executive comittee

Kerry (the skull) OKeefe to take over from Bill (the shadow) Lawry as Ritchies right hand go to man.

Bill (the shadow) Lawry to become Ritchies left hand man subsequently becoming Kerry (the skull) OKeefes go to man.

The middle management team

Jim Maxwell needs to be recruited in from the ABC to take up the appointment of senior commentator he will have 2 junior commentators reporting to him Michael Slater and Mark Waugh. Mr Maxwell will report to Mr OKeefe.

Mark Nichols retains his spot as senior commentator and female liason manager (much like foriegn minister in this team) he will also have 2 junior commentators reporting to him Damien Flemming and the recently demoted Tony Grieg. Mr Nichols will report to Mr Lawry.

The foot soldiers (junior commentators)

Damien Fleming huge tranfer fee with cheque made payable to Mr Rupert Murdoch looks inevitiable here, but it is obvious young Flem is charming the masses and this game is all about ratings.

Michael Slater everyone loves a bad boy and here we have Charlie Sheen, Robert Downey Jr, Sean Penn, Sean "puff daddy" Coombes, Eminem, Robbie Williams and Johnny Depp all rolled up into one package; hopefully legal.
So lock up your daughters and lock up your gran's, Slats is about to be let loose again.

Tony Grieg like the creature in predator you just cant kill this beast, you just seem to keep on demoting him and like a leech he sucks hard and stays on. No doubt picked up most of his votes around the trotting track at Glouster Park Perth that he frequently mentions every time he is commentating a match over there.

Mark Waugh like Flem will require another cheque paid to Mr Rupert Murdoch. Interesting character has a foot in all camps, slightly debonair like a poor mans Mark Nichol's, slightly fractured like a poor mans Michael Slater, slightly sychophantic like a poor mans Tony Grieg, and slightly knowledgeable about cricket like a rich mans Ian Chappell. Beat Peter Roebuck for this job in the main commentary team by one vote.

Janitor/Storeman/Gardener/Valet/Security

Peter Roebuck reports directly to Mr Benaud. Pete is the man who walks behind the horses (commentary team) with a shovel and wheelbarrow and cleans up there mess. Also a handy man to have as a back up commentator in case Slats gets thrown into rehab or another team member gets thrown into jail. Narrowly beat the now jobless Ian Healy for this position.

Those who failed to make the new Channel 9 commentary team

On the tranfer market

Ian Healy, Ian Chappell and Tubby (Fujitsu) Taylor; Big rumour tubby's heading to Japan, I suppose Heals and Chappelli will probably go to Fox.

Staying put

Brendon Julien and Allan Border look like they have endure a few more years at Fox but will make some new friends in the two recycled Ian's (Healy & Chappell)

Geoff Lawson and Glen Mitchell stay home at the ABC still continuing to enjoy away trips staying at backpackers, travelling to interstate venues on trains and getting McDonalds and KFC discount vouchers to help with meal expenses. Not to mention the two casks of Coolibah wine (one white one red) the ABC gives them prior to each match.

Out of contract

Greg Blewett blew it as a batsman might of blew it as a commentator, could be a good stocking filler for the ABC.

Trash and Treasure (one mans trash is another ones treasure) alternatively recyclables

Keith Stackpole, Terry Alderman and Simon O'Donnell the ABC is usualy pretty hot on recycling even though they chucked two of these into the bin with the yellow lid they will probably get them back out before the trash man arrives.

The unemployment line or end of the line

Ryan Campbell, Jamie Cox, Danny Morrison, Kim Hughes and Darren Berry

All I can suggest is apply to centerlink as soon as possible, also consider taxi driving or fruit picking as career choices.

*All above based on data provided by Australias best commentator poll results at Cricinfo
I just added my spin ...acker