Prediction League - England Vs New Zealand

[R W S]

Bragging and Sledging rites can be earned here in the all new Mr "there's no storm" Fish type forecasting game.

Its time to distill all the analysis that has gone before. Be you a myopic pro England Mr Magoo type, like myself, or a less optimistic/realistic 'I think the Kiwis are going to give us a walloping'. Get your marker down before your opinion is marked down.

Roll up! Roll up! One go per player! (I could not find the latest betting odds - please let me know if you can)

[freddie flintoff 142]

england 2-0 win (more optamistic!) vaughan and fred i agree to star with bat, butch also. Nas gets the go ahead for his 100 cap, jones injures himself at home tring to open his loft and read promtley comes in a hits an unbeaten 49*, hittin cairns back over his head for a huge 6 to bring up his highest test score!
Giles gets a wicket with his only ball of the series, (cairns stumped for 87 off 54 balls) which changes the second test into englands favour.
harmison becomes the only player to take all 20 wickets in a test and hoggard becomes the first to take 4 in 4 balls in a test the game after.

then agian it could be a boring 0-0 draw

[Teatime FatCat]

Oh come now FF - that's all a little far-fetched! This is a little more likely I think -


1) During a furious piece of foot-movement, Tresco stabs himself with his spikes. His foot goes gangrenous, has to be removed, and he becomes a far better batsmen with one leg - often hopping up the pitch to thwack spinners over the top.

2) Vaughan scores century after century whilst keeping his hair immaculate, and becomes the new face of Brylcreem

3) Butch decides to concentrate on his music and makes a groundbreaking concept album with Dizzee Rascal

4) Nass grinds his way doggedly through the series, then retires stating he'd rather have played for India

5) Nothing interesting or controversial happens to Thorpey at all (which is a good thing)

6) After seeing the 27th catch dropped off his bowling, Freddie finally snaps and announces that he wishes Butcher would "p**s off and play with his bloody guitar" (see above)

7) Geraint Jones offers to duel with Chris Read on Hampstead Heath for the 'keepers place

8) Ashley Giles is treated for shock after repeatedly beating the bat of NZ's number 11. His treatment consists of sweet milky tea and digestive biscuits, suitably energised he still fails to take a wicket.

9) Hoggy swings it absolutely everywhere and receives huge media attention, he reverts to his skinhead haircut which was 'such a hit with the ladies'

10) Simon Jones is criticised by the management for too much weight training and not enough netting. He responds by getting 'a bit miffed' and taking 9-3. afterward, he buffs himself with baby oil on the England balcony.

11) Harmy continues to bomb batsmen, and adds sledging to his repertoir. Unfortunately as they are in a Geordie dialect, nobody understands them and he resorts to using prompt cards, which affects his run-up.

[freddie flintoff 142]

lol i like it

[Teatime FatCat]

R W S -


I'm Avatar'd up and ready to go baby!

Ooops! er, go England!

[Goatman]

Originally Posted by Teatime FatCat

Oh come now FF - that's all a little far-fetched! This is a little more likely I think -


1) During a furious piece of foot-movement, Tresco stabs himself with his spikes. His foot goes gangrenous, has to be removed, and he becomes a far better batsmen with one leg - often hopping up the pitch to thwack spinners over the top.

2) Vaughan scores century after century whilst keeping his hair immaculate, and becomes the new face of Brylcreem

3) Butch decides to concentrate on his music and makes a groundbreaking concept album with Dizzee Rascal

4) Nass grinds his way doggedly through the series, then retires stating he'd rather have played for India

5) Nothing interesting or controversial happens to Thorpey at all (which is a good thing)

6) After seeing the 27th catch dropped off his bowling, Freddie finally snaps and announces that he wishes Butcher would "p**s off and play with his bloody guitar" (see above)

7) Geraint Jones offers to duel with Chris Read on Hampstead Heath for the 'keepers place

8) Ashley Giles is treated for shock after repeatedly beating the bat of NZ's number 11. His treatment consists of sweet milky tea and digestive biscuits, suitably energised he still fails to take a wicket.

9) Hoggy swings it absolutely everywhere and receives huge media attention, he reverts to his skinhead haircut which was 'such a hit with the ladies'

10) Simon Jones is criticised by the management for too much weight training and not enough netting. He responds by getting 'a bit miffed' and taking 9-3. afterward, he buffs himself with baby oil on the England balcony.

11) Harmy continues to bomb batsmen, and adds sledging to his repertoir. Unfortunately as they are in a Geordie dialect, nobody understands them and he resorts to using prompt cards, which affects his run-up.

LOL! Nice one. Can I add a few predictions for the rest of the squad:-

12) Frustrated at not being selected, Anderson cycles through ever more absurd hairstyles finally coming to rest on a huge, orange mohecan. This initially serves him well, until a minor collision in the field during a county game occurs and Dominic Cork loses an eye and is forced to retire causing a national holiday to be called in celebration.

13) Paul Collingwood breaks three ribs and a leg when he cycles into the back of a stationary transit van, and then trips and knocks himself unconscious on a hospital trolley while leaving A&E. Is further confused at the disembodied "canned" laughter he keeps hearing. Takes to wearing a beret and finally gets engaged to childhood sweetheart, Betty.

14) Kevin Pieterson finally snaps and shoves a whole Biltong up Jason Gallions ****. Retires from cricket after recieving a valuable contract from the All-Lancashire Black Pudding Fencing team.

15) James Kirtley bursts into tears during the C&G quater-final, and runs off to find his mum.

[Mike_Hock]

Quality post FC.

[Richie Benauds Love Child]

Originally Posted by Goatman

LOL! Nice one. Can I add a few predictions for the rest of the squad:-

12) Frustrated at not being selected, Anderson cycles through ever more absurd hairstyles finally coming to rest on a huge, orange mohecan. This initially serves him well, until a minor collision in the field during a county game occurs and Dominic Cork loses an eye and is forced to retire causing a national holiday to be called in celebration.

13) Paul Collingwood breaks three ribs and a leg when he cycles into the back of a stationary transit van, and then trips and knocks himself unconscious on a hospital trolley while leaving A&E. Is further confused at the disembodied "canned" laughter he keeps hearing. Takes to wearing a beret and finally gets engaged to childhood sweetheart, Betty.

14) Kevin Pieterson finally snaps and shoves a whole Biltong up Jason Gallions ****. Retires from cricket after recieving a valuable contract from the All-Lancashire Black Pudding Fencing team.

15) James Kirtley bursts into tears during the C&G quater-final, and runs off to find his mum.

Fast class all of them.

Joking apart, weather permitting we'll get a result in all of them, as the bowling on both teams is much stronger.

Having said that I thought the WI series would end 1-0 because the batting line ups were much stronger !?!?!?!?

[Richard Jenkins]

My crystal ball has broken down today lads, so I'll predict that NZ will win, 1-0

[Teatime FatCat]

If Collingwood had crystal balls he'd probably break them too!