Position Vacant: England cricket team

[acker]

One fast aggressive skidding style extremely pacy bowler

Pre requisites..: Must bowler over 90 miles per hour on the majority of balls you bowl
....................: Must be prepared to bowl as many bouncers as the laws game allow
....................: Must have a good throat ball
....................: Must have good stamina and be injury free
....................: Must not get homesick when on tour
....................: Must be English or come from a country that lets you play for England. (Probably no point applying if your Australian)

Other helpful attributes
....................: Have a mean streak
....................: Be a bit of a bully
....................: Bowl straight
....................: Go to bed early
....................: Ability to say "No" to alcohol, drugs and loose women
....................: Ability to say "No I am going to bed" to team-mates who say "Yes" to alcohol, drugs and loose women
....................: To be able and willing to massage Kevin Pietersens neck when he asks.


Referees........: Will help especially "Referees" who own nightclubs where you may have worked as a "bouncer" or "doorman"

Salary...........: More than you ever dreamed of
Perks............: Take 2-3 days to go through them all
Commencement
Date.............: Any time between now and the start of the next ashes series

Send
Application
to................: jobs@ecb.co.uk

[greg]

Acker while i agree with your sentiments this series may have given you a look at what might happen to your own team without the greats McGrath and Warne.England have only had one first choice bowler in this series in Panesar and who knows what may or may not have happened had England been able to play Flintoff,Harmison and Hoggard in any of the matches.They may not have made much difference but if they were fit they would have been picked.

It says a lot that our best bowler of the summer was a county journeyman who has been bowled into the ground and picked up an injury in this last match,without Sidebottom we would have had an awful summer.

[acker]

Position Vacant: Australian cricket team

Spinner (preferably leg)

Pre-requisites:.......Must have an unplayable "flipper" and have attitude.

contact: ......... jobs@acb.com.au

[engssmoothcriminal]

Originally Posted by acker

One fast aggressive skidding style extremely pacy bowler

Pre requisites..: Must bowler over 90 miles per hour on the majority of balls you bowl
....................: Must be prepared to bowl as many bouncers as the laws game allow
....................: Must have a good throat ball
....................: Must have good stamina and be injury free
....................: Must not get homesick when on tour
....................: Must be English or come from a country that lets you play for England. (Probably no point applying if your Australian)

Other helpful attributes
....................: Have a mean streak
....................: Be a bit of a bully
....................: Bowl straight
....................: Go to bed early
....................: Ability to say "No" to alcohol, drugs and loose women
....................: Ability to say "No I am going to bed" to team-mates who say "Yes" to alcohol, drugs and loose women
....................: To be able and willing to massage Kevin Pietersens neck when he asks.


Referees........: Will help especially "Referees" who own nightclubs where you may have worked as a "bouncer" or "doorman"

Salary...........: More than you ever dreamed of
Perks............: Take 2-3 days to go through them all
Commencement
Date.............: Any time between now and the start of the next ashes series

Send
Application
to................: jobs@ecb.co.uk

Not forgetting of course the key "must be able to solve the problem number 8 position in the batting lineup" requirement.

[south beds mikey]

Originally Posted by acker

One fast aggressive skidding style extremely pacy bowler

How about an old fat untalented opening bat? If so I'm in with a chance.

Originally Posted by acker

....................: Ability to say "No" to alcohol, drugs and loose women

D'oh!! That's me out.

[Speedboy Salesman]

Position vacant...Australian cricket team

Legspinner

Prerequistes: Must be able to have an aura of invincibility, must enjoy - bowling at the opposition, trying to be the captain, burgers, banned drugs and an ability to visibly excite the wicketkeeper.

Helpful attributes: Be able to bowl long periods, be as blonde as you can get and have an excellent texting finger.