Screen Names

[Andy Mellon]

Following the recent animal based new posters (Lemming and Mongoose), I've got to wondering where you got your screen names from. Some seem to be obvious - where the name is likely to be the actual name of the poster; but seeing as some people think my screen name is my real name, I thought I should set the record straight and allow others to do the same.

Yes - believe it or not, my real name is not Andy Mellon. This was in fact my nickname at secondary school. The story behind this is slightly lumbering, and not as interesting as it may suggest.

There I was, sitting in an A-Level History lesson many moons ago (am I giving away my age now) and we were working in pairs doing mini-projects on the Great Depression. With me so far? I was working with a new chap joining our school for the sixth form. He didn't know me, I didn't know him. But we knew each others names... Or so I thought. Well, to cut a long story short, I got the name because this bloke I was working with got my name confused with that of the Head of the New York Stock Exchange at the start of the Great Depression (one Andrew Mellon). When he announced to the class with great gusto that our presentation had been written by himself and Andy Mellon, much mirth resulted and a nickname that stuck - mainly due to the many innuendo that could be attached to it. Hence, in the sixth form at school, I was more often known as Andy Mellon, Mellon or Mellons. Someone even invented a 'mellon dance' for every time I came into the room.

Anyway - even if you think the source of your name is obvious; please explain how you became to be known as Richie Benaud's Love Child, TeaTime FatCat, Lemming or even Ernest!!!

[Mongoose]

I actually gave Lemming his moniker - we are friends from university. We were playing snooker, which he's pretty good at. I thought he needed a name with alliteration in it (Hurricane Higgins, Whirlwind White). So, because he's from Lichfield, I came up with The Lichfield Lemming. In return he called me the Manchester Mongoose, as Manchester is where I came from before moving to Birmingham.

[Andy Mellon]

That explains a lot. It seemed a bit of a coincidence to have two 'animals' join at roughly the same time and in similar locations. I was also wondering why someone in Brum would support Lancs. Now I'm only left wondering why someone at all would support Lancs

[Mongoose]

Now now - yer twistin' me mellon man! There's nothing wrong with supporting Lancs. We've done alright in the one dayers down the years, and we came close to the Championship in 2003. Gone a bit pear-shaped since, I admit. But we've always done England proud: Freddie, Athers, Statham and many more international stars have come from our patch. And Vaughan's from Manchester too!

[Richie Benauds Love Child]

Way back when, in the days when richie benaud was on the beeb, I was descetly passed a "12th man" tape, (youngsters a "tape" was something tha preceeded CDs and contained music and computer games often for the commadore 64 and ZX spectrum.If you still arent sure ask your parents). I found this tape to be a revaltion and amused my friends with impressions of the great man doing impressions of the great man, the "warming up in the shower" or my favourite, "I'm just going to the xxxx and will back in just in few moments and enjoy your company then", with xxx being the bar, gents, etc etc. or even the "ah awful" which my non-cricketing chums have tried and still not mastered to this day.

I still find those tapes funny now, and they bring back memories of driven round darkest parts of derbyshire and nottinghamshire totally lost looking for a cricket ground with that on in the background.

Happy days !

[Richie Benauds Love Child]

Originally Posted by Andy Mellon

Yes - believe it or not, my real name is not Andy Mellon. This was in fact my nickname at secondary school. The story behind this is slightly lumbering, and not as interesting as it may suggest.

Andy, you dont know how much I 've restrained myself from the obvious "mellons" gags which you've heard a million times before, for fear of offending your good name and that of your family. Now I find out its not even your name

[Mongoose]

Originally Posted by Richie Benauds Love Child

I still find those tapes funny now, and they bring back memories of driven round darkest parts of derbyshire and nottinghamshire totally lost looking for a cricket ground with that on in the background.

Happy days !

I know the tape you mean, RBLC. Him practising in the bathroom ... 'What a catch!' ... 'Oh, that's a glorious shot' before going to breakfast: 'Good morning Mrs Benaud, good morning all, and welcome to another glorious morning in the Benaud kitchen' or something like that. Hilarious.

[Moss]

Moss is the nickname I call my husband, as I set up this username for him.

I use it 99% of the time though!

[Alison]

I'm afraid I'm rather boring and just use my real name.

[Andy Mellon]

Originally Posted by Richie Benauds Love Child

Andy, you dont know how much I 've restrained myself from the obvious "mellons" gags which you've heard a million times before, for fear of offending your good name and that of your family. Now I find out its not even your name

Its not the gags I mind; believe it or not, its when people spell it 'Melons'. I guess its because the innuendo becomes really obvious then, and it loses the story behind it.

does anyone have any other names they use on other forums? I've gone by the slightly ironic name of PeterSuchSpin - for obvious reasons considering my Essex heritage.

And Mongoose - my slight dislike for Lancs is due to them being Essex's biggest rivals in the early 90s and a particularly unenjoyable one-day trophy final in the mid 90s