You must be joking!!!

[Mongoose]

Originally Posted by Oliver

and I thought it was rather funny.

Glad you liked my Man Utd joke. Lemming is just a bitter Red. 'Looking to the future' is what he calls it!

[Oliver]

Originally Posted by Mongoose

they're nothing to do with the Cheeky Girls, although they do rival them in terms of quality.

Oh! That good.

Perhaps they could present Countdown while Richard Whitely is ill? I understand they're looking around for someone equally talentless so as not to make the humourless man with the ghastly jackets look too bad when he returns.

[Mongoose]

Originally Posted by Oliver

Perhaps they could present Countdown while Richard Whitely is ill? I understand they're looking around for someone equally talentless so as not to make the humourless man with the ghastly jackets look too bad when he returns.

Is he ill? That must be a terrible blow for C4. Hasn't he presented 1,253,567 shows in a row? (And nothing else in between). You're spot on if you're comparing Whiteley's humour to that of the Chucklebrothers - iconically terrible. Except that the Chucklebrothers don't put a quiz in between the jokes to give everyone a break.

[Oliver]

Originally Posted by Mongoose

Except that the Chucklebrothers don't put a quiz in between the jokes to give everyone a break.

There's a joke there somewhere... can you see what it is yet?

Sorry no, that's Rolf Harris again.

[Richie Benauds Love Child]

Originally Posted by Oliver

I know that I'm 43 (and therefore a bit old!!! ) but I'm very pleased to say, that I haven't got the faintest idea what you're on about.

Are they anything to do with the Cheeky Girls?

Alas, no they are to middle aged-be-mulleted "kids" entertainers (apart from the fact they arent funny).

And as for the chuckle brothers..........

[Mongoose]

Originally Posted by Oliver

There's a joke there somewhere... can you see what it is yet?

Sorry no, that's Rolf Harris again.

Rolf Harris goes out clubbing one night. He;s about to step in through the door when the bouncer outs him arm out and stops him. 'Sorry, you can't go in. Dress code'.
'What?' Rolf is amazed.
'Sorry', the bouncer says, 'you've got to be wearing a tie'.
'Oh, come one mate' pleads Rolf. 'You know who I am don't you?'
The bouncer nods. 'Sure, Rolf. And I'm a big fan. But it's more than my job's worth to let you in like that'.

Rolf goes back to his car, and the tears begin to flow - he was really looking forward to strutting his stuff on the dance floor. He sits with his head in his hands, and suddenly a thought occurs to him. He goes to the boot of his car, gets out some jump leads and fashions them into a makeshift tie. He approaches the door again. The bouncer stops him again.

'Look Rolf, I told you before'
'Yeah, but look at this' Rolf says, holding up the jump-lead tie. 'Come on mate. It's my big night out, and I don't get many of them at my age. Come on, you did say you were a fan'.
'OK', the bouncer says. 'Because you've made an effort, because it's your big night out, because you don't get many of them at your age, and because you're a real hero to me, I'm going to let you in'. (Rolf grins and shakes his hand). 'Oh, but Rolf ...'
'Yes?'

... and I'll leave Lemming to supply the punchline, as it's one of his jokes!

[Mongoose]

Damn it, he's offline! I'll have to drive home quickly, cutting through the traffic, so I can tell him to finish the joke.

[Lemming]

Originally Posted by Mongoose

... and I'll leave Lemming to supply the punchline, as it's one of his jokes!

Can you believe this guy? First he offends me with Man Utd jokes, then calls me bitter and then to top it off he nicks one of my own bleeding jokes.

You owe me mugs of tea big time Mongoose. As well as that you can collect-a-pizza for me from Pizza-Land tonight!!!

By the way the punchline is: "Sorry, it's probably more than my job's worth, and i'm going to have to ask you to leave Rolf!"

[Lemming]

Ooops, wrong joke!! I didn't read the full start of it and have loads of Rolf (and incidentally Ralph) Harris jokes in my stand-up routine, so I got confused!

The actual punch-line is: "Don't start anything!"

[Oliver]

Originally Posted by Lemming

Can you believe this guy?

By the way the punchline is: "Sorry, it's probably more than my job's worth, and i'm going to have to ask you to leave Rolf!"

Is that a joke?

Jeeves: "very nearly sir."