The Greatest Ever Cricket Sledges

[Quagmire]

Sledging in cricket it can be a bad thing for the game but again it can be very funny, here is some of the greatest sledges that i know in test cricket. Vote on which one is the best. Please add any other good sledegs from international cricket or just ones that you have heard from local cricket or even in the back yard.

1. Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"

2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne: As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had Been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?" Eddo Brandes:"Because everytime I F*** your mother, she throws me a biscuit"

4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughesuring 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed:"You can't ******ing bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can’t ******ing bat & you can't ******ing bowl."

5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandaduring 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richardsuring a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don’t you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say ****** off."]

7. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment that was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don’t get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat ******!!!"

8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh........
MW : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England"
JO : "Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family"

9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever F*&king mention my wife again, I'll F*ing rip your F*fing throat out."

10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark - "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then, you're fu*king useless now".Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt".

11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

12. Ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don’t want to slander anyone) shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease i’ll break your f***ing head" Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"

13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall: "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

14. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip,and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother" he replied.

[Oliver]

What's the name of the site you found these on mate?

Is it the same as the one Paoli used #71743 in September 2005?

[Collyisamackem]

I'd go for 8, clean as a whistle but inspired stuff from Jimmy Ormond!

[Oliver]

That's just wrong Colly.

Anyone as talentless as Eddo Brandes that can take so much wind out of the sails of someone quite as humourless as the tremendously talented, yet dull with nagging unplayable length (though clearly not enough for his wife, fnarr, fnarr) of Glenn McGrath wins my vote every time.

"The Biscuit one" is clearly top of the tree. But I still want to know what got Chris Read's back up yesterday.

Ten to one, it was something about his failure to make it on the Test arena. Presumably a little ruder than: "is this the lad who lost his international place to a bloke from Papua New Guinea, who can't bat or catch?"

[Teatime FatCat]

Cullinan to Warne, only time he probably got one over on the Aussie, but an inspired comment none the less!


Possibly vying with the 'Mars Bar on a good length' one from Healy!

[DaveGillespie]

The best one I heard was Steve Kirby to Mike Atherton in Atherton's final first class game. After Atherton played and missed, Kirby remarked that he had "seen better players in his fridge".

[Wanderer]

Some on Mike Gatting....(clean ones )

1. Dennis Lillee stops in mid run-up and says:
"Hell Gatt, move out of the way, I can't see the stumps!"


2. India vs England in Calcutta, 1985. England captain Gower to bowler Chris Cowdrey:
Gower: Do you want Gatt a foot wider?
Cowdrey: No. He'd burst.

3. This one is not a sledge, but another one on Gatting, and his weight....

Ian Botham on the "barmaid in the bedroom" affair that cost Gatting the England captaincy in 1988.

"It couldn't have been Gatt. Anything he takes up to his room after nine o' clock, he eats."

[Mongoose]

I like the Marshall one to Boon. So politely worded!

[adamberry]

The McGrath-Brandes one's my favourite, the instant you say the first line everyone wants to say the reply!

And the McGrath-Sarwan one, anything that winds Glenn up makes me laugh!

[adamberry]

Originally Posted by Rowan

11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

Reminds me of another similar one actually:

Originally Posted by www.indiatoday.com.au

In one of the tour matches in South Africa, Australia played Hansie Cronje's province. Cronje was at the non strikers end, there was a short chubby batsman on strike. Ian Healy yelled to Warne, (I think) "Bowl a Mars Bar half way down...We'll get him stumped" The Aussies and Cronje were all in hysterics. the batsman's retort: "Nah, Boonie fielding at short leg will be onto it before I can move."